ALL said and DONE!!!

Hey blog!!! Its been sooooo long! Ive missed you!! Sorry but I was on vacation, and now I'm back and I have a whole lot to tell you!!! I needed a vacation it was well overdue. Green and I decided to take a get away and trust me it was worth it! Anyways, Let me get straight to whats been going on! So yes I met up with my high school crush and it was weird at first, I didnt feel any spark...and that wasnt a problem because trust me I am not trying to force any feelings. But i definately knew there was a connection...There has always been a connection but no need to act on it, cuz unfortunately we are both shy people(which sucks), so we r always waiting for each other to come out first. But yea yea, we hung out with each other and other friends like normal, until this very night!! OMG I was gone, I was drunk and yea twas a night to remmeber..Im real uptight so alcohol kinda lossened me up :-)!! I kinda loved the way it happened!..it happened exactly the way it would in a fairy tale...so I was kind of tired in the club( I was sobering up) so i went to sit down in some secluded place and before I knew it, he was there by my side..I was kind of shocked how he found me and I kept askin him and he kept sayin weird stuff...but yea yea yea...we sat together and I rested my head on his shoulder and before I knew it he kissed me..OH MY GOSH!! I wasnt expecting it!! I was blown for a minute, that I kindof stopped for a minute!! Oh my gosh!! after we did it he was like "this has been long awaiting" since like 9th grade" I thot it was soo sweet and I felt soo good..havnt felt that way in a long time..kissing someone you really and truely care for...felt amazing!! and all he wanted to do was kiss, I kept holding back tho, because I really didnt know what to do...and now that I think about it I should have gone all out!! Opportunity comes once in a lifetime...all I can do is blush blush and blush!!! like wow!! I really shouldnt have kissed him tho because I dont want to start catching feelings!! and he has soo many groupie lover girls..I dont want to be on that band wagon!! gosh Im so torn...and do you know the crazy thing? we have not said anything about that day since that day..was it just a fling or what? a kissing fling to be precise?...but then y did he kiss me? did he have feelings? or am i just taking this too far? hmm I dont know!! but hmm lets wait and see....We finally spoke after like a week!! and he called, because I truely honestly didnt know what to tell him if I was to call..but we spoke and didnt talk about it, we spoke about everything surrounding the trip but not that!! how odd? I gess its going to be our little secret?..

Wow!! another crazy thing happened as well, this dude that swears up and done that he is feeling me, but never acts on it rather go and kick it with my friends! whats up with that? how r you feeling someone but rather kick it with her friends? like its soo crazy!! I'm not feeling him anyway I just hate being lied too, like its just soo silly!! anyways I did stop talkin to him, but then he started complaining that why am i acting weird and stuff, but I just didnt want to have anything to do with him..like I introduced him to one of my friends and they started messing around, and trust me I dont need to be surrounded by characters like that..but anyways he did hook up with my bff during the trip and thats completetly fine with me because hey!! they did like each other at a point in time, but hey dont lie to me, its not necessary!! but yea i dont and havnt spoken to him and I am just fine wwith that...

I spoke to my cousin about the various guys I talk to and stuff like that, and he told me that I should eliminate all of them and stick to one, so I have been thinking hard...and I have the one I want but I dont know if he wants me anymore..I think he does, but nothings assured!! gosh should I just come out and ask him? he calls me "wifey " and things like that but im not too sure, he had the craziest crush on me in high school, but I was too young and naive to realise something good right on the top of my nose..but I just felt like we didnt connect!!! but now I guess we are much older and things have changed!! I really digg him!! dont like him like OMG!! but I see a future with us, because he fufills my criterias for a dude!!! maybe dressing would need a lil work, but apart from that goal oriented, religious and focused!!! but the problem is how am I going to go about this? Questions questions questions? He is single and he did let me know that he was looking for a girl to keep hiim in line...Im soo screwed!! Well I guess I'm just going to pray* and we would see what happens after that!! *super smiley face*.... Well yea thats about it!! I was goin to stick with my kissy face boo(first paragraph) but Im soooo clueless to what he wants? if he even wanats anything you get me?..life sucksss!! answers answers answers!!!!!...