..Long Smmer days...

Ohmidays! It has been forever!!! I iss my bloggy! Ive been swamped with work and random thoughts of what to do with my life, I rarely even talk on the phone(what i love to do :-().. but hey!!! its been the longest summer ever and I started my sumer with the goal that I am going to stop colecting guys asif they were collector items..but now im here at the end of summer going oout with a different guy every day! We arent doing anything tho..im just going out o dinners and talking to different people...yea life still sucks I havnt yet ffound that "ONE"...and I stay steady listening to this song by Lyfe Jennings called "Will i ever" will i ever fall in love?... Its kinda crazy...but now Im just soo use to being single its crazy..Im scared to even be in a relationship...Bad Bad Bad....sooo would I ever fall in love? or would I be alone forever? ...anyways yea in the beginnig of summer I was on a clean slate..then I had to go see my last year summer boo and yea we hung out and he was real caring and yea he still liked me, and I dont know whats wrong wit me but I just dont know how to like him..his swag is sooo off to me :-( but he is a good person and I would like to like him but its hard and he doesnt jock me like before soooooo yeaaaa... but yea I met this other guy later in the holiday but yea he had a girlfriend and he never told me so I scratched him off asap!! its crazy but after I got cheated on the pain I felt after the relationship really makes it hard for me to let someone cheat on their girlfriend with me, its really sad! but yea....my american bOO who is in school is just off and on>im sincerly tired of him< i DONT think I can be patient with him anymore, i just feel asif he is trying to " get the milk for free with out buying the cow" and yea not too cool...if you really like something or someone wouldnt you wana get them so you dont have to share them with anyone else? idk whats good with the world nowadays...GOSH! but yea I met this other guy and he is like cool from another tribe as me and hmmm it seems asif he likes me but he is trying to play it safe and not throw his feelings out but he is very subtle with his approach...I hate that so im just not even taking him seriously!! and yea there is my ex, ohmiiiii! it seems asif he has me on a freakin leash :-( but yea Im getting better, I droped on him on our last convo because he was talking about having sex with me and telling me to tease him,,i found it very insulting because it sees asif he wants to benefit from mme yet we arnt togetherr..no way joseeee(pronounced hooooeeezzay)...but yea so I got mad and dropped the phone...when Im done wit my blog Im goin to put what i want in life in writing! I cant be fooling around with these niggas anymore I need a man :-)..Im proud of myself no physical activities have been taken place this wholee summer yay( Im beinga good girl)

But yea before I leave you I have to tell you about this story..ok so yea one of my friends had a crush on this dude like two years ago and then they stopped talking because she felt asif he liked another girl and all that! and i think he liked her too or whatever!! but yea yea yea so after two years they meet in my city at a gathering! isnt that crazy!! so yea they talk and all that and she passively introdoces me and my other friend to him but nothing serious! So yea she fronts for him and then later gives in to him...i knew she still liked him but she was fronting but whatever! So the week after I saw him at a picnic and my friend introduces me tohim and he goes "do i know you" and im like maybe..and then he asks if im friends with 'blah" and I say yea...and then we start talking and he is friends with my ex too so we just like joking around and cracking random jokes and basicaly just having a good time...then later that night my friend him and I go out to party and him and my friend having a good time, i even excuse them so thati wont be a pproblem...fun night for them, but after that night my friend gets to complaining how he doesnt reply her texts or how he doesnt call and blahblahblah!! so she basically wants to have him jockin her like he use to but I gess he wasnt "on that" anymore *sad face*..but yea we start talking on facebook and he says that we should be buddies and blahblahblah..very platonic about everything and it was cool with me, i think he is real cool so yea he asked to kick it with me and I said yea and we went out yesterday and it was cool! fun it was asif we have known each other forever he sat on my laps we wwas eating from each others plate and all that!! just like a "gay friend" it was real cool! but everyone thinks its weird! idk...no feelings attached but it was cool!! he is mad cute too..lol!!! anyways yea thats summer so far! im still that single sistah,....God is Love..

Scared of being Loney!!

OMGGGG... i have issues....

I am convinced that it is a personal problem that I cant find a solution to...

I hate loneliness..I mean who doesntr right?!! but mine is to an extreme. I cant settle with one guy because im scared of loneliness..
I could deal with me not being physically close to them for a little period of time but talking to them.. I WANNA talk to them all the time.. I need that attention

I am yearning for the emptiness to be filled up cos i feel im running out of time
I try to be patient and look for other ways to take up the time
I find multiple ways that seem to be working well
if one is unavailable I simply find comfort in another
It brightens my day to be able to be happy at all times
even if it takes two or three people to do it.

When all three dont give me the attention that i yearn for
what is a girl like me to do.
Im left alone with a broken nerve and a state of confusion
train of thoughts gushing down my head on what my next move should be
By this time Im left hurting deep inside.

NOW my head is spinning
I need comfort tonight. who can I talk to if all three dont pick up
I go through my contacts yearning for a word from old friends, ex's, old lovers,someone, anyone
cant find who to talk to
Im fighting, Im kicking, swinging...getting myself worked out
I feel like my time is running out
What is a girl to do.

Im scared of being lonely... I am

Happy June Bloggers!

Oh my gosh! Its been forever guys! But yea I'm back!!! So much has happened its kindof crazy! I dont even know where to start! But first of all Happy June guys!! Thank God we are all still alive to see another month! We shall have many more months to come. AMEN! Yay its June and May is over! I feel May was the roughest month i have ever had in my life, but Im thankful that its all over :-). So yea I told you about "eyecandy" my newest crush, yea I dont understand but I just feel like he is not feeling e the way I want him too. Im not sure maybe he doesnt know how to express his feelings or maybe he is just not that into me. He is really physical but he wont call me or text me... I dont understand which guy that likes a girl who wont want to talk to her every chance he gets? well all in all I havnt spoken to him in about two weeks...doesnt that suck? I feel sad but not hurt..I'll get over him right...he must have just not liked me that much.
Besides that, my ex left me!! like he moved to another continent *tears*....I had been dreading the day he would leave but I guess it had to happen!! I really miss him! he called me as soon as he could..gosh! he has a way of making me feel special when he wants but *sigh* he is in a better country now :-( . I wonder what would happen when we see each other again. I feel like he has me on a freakin leash!! urghh why? he is good for me but not good for me, but hmm we are real good buddies so I guess thats good enough!!

So how bout this is my first summer alone :-( i have no one but my blackberry!! doesnt that suck!!! But thank God I have various jobs to keep my mind off things. Gosh I was going crazy when i was unemployed! but yay!!!..so basically thats all that has been happening with me guys June should bring me so much heart warming :-)...ttyl

BUILDING/ updating your GUY PORTFOLIO!!

Hey BLOGSTARRRZZ

Its me again..GREAT GREEN at your service!!!

So I have come to the realization that there are a lot of girls out there who find it so hard to find a guy... Listen to me...from experience... you have to go out of you "usual circle" go and explore...meet new people....who know people and could introduce you to some people, who in that crowd you could select someone that could end up being the one...

First things first.... tell yourself that you dont want to be an option but a priority!!! very important message!!! beig a priority keeps us ladies feeling confident and boosts our self esteeme. I just started telling myself this every time because I feel i deserve this and this is something I would do for him so it would be nice if he did the same! About a week ago, I stopped talking to my booski because I feel he wasnt making me a priority and its not fair game. As u noticed I sed booski not boyfriend because we were both not ready to be in relationships.. and when I got ready he still refused because he is scared i would break his heart (due to one of my past behaviors)hehe

SEcondly... go out and have fun.... go to parties, clubbing, to bars, house parties, friends houses for little get togethers..just go to a place were you could meet new people.
my booski and I stopped talking because i felt it wasnt fair game! I wrote him a letter and hoped if he wanted me bk he would call and beg. He really isnt that kind of guy but still I wanted that treatment to feel like THAT GIRL but nope he called me and couldnt talk about it..so I cut him off. The following weekend, I went to a PARTYYY!!! were I was determined to have a blast.. It was a house party but still my portfolio was on empty.. HAd to go refill it ASAP. so followed #2. went out and had a blast.. met me new friends and there were a lot of guys there

thirdly... look Hot all the time you go out!!! guys like attractive girls... i dont mean slutty (cos that gives them a sexual image..not so gud.... for now that is...) So I went looking very decent but HOT... didnt have to show ass or tits to look attractive. Got my makeup on point, my heelz on, and a nice outfit and I was good to go.. compared to the rest of the girls there... I dont blame the gus for running to me.. cos I had maself looking GOOD... Im just speaking reality!!!hehe

fourthly... When guys approach you be very friendly and fun and if they ask for your number just give it to them..... Its called stocking your GUY PORTFOLIO... do not collect thiers..just give them and let them do the calling... thats making yourself feel like a priority..if they wanna talk ...they call you!!!! Give it to guys that you think look like potential good investments... limit it to 6... no more than 6 and no less than 2. I drank a cup of long Island just to have a lil energy boost.. mennn was I having fun... I wasnt inside partying and rubbing myself on the dudes.. I was outside chilling in a more social setting. being funny, cracking jokes, and of cos flirting.. so at different times I had different guys come up to me.... spit alyrics and then asked for my nos.. some guys got the X cos I wasnt feeling them.. but some of them were able to impress me.. either thier look ( i always looka t thier shoes..it says a lot about a guy) if they looked worth my time and investment... I gave em my nos... I ended up my day with 5 guys... if they called me ..cool...if they didnt thier loss.. I kept all the convos short and sweet... Cant tellem everything about you...then there is no fun in getting to know you...SO!!! on my way home, I got a text message from three of them checking if i got home safe.... didnt reply.. but acknoledged thier time...the next morning I replied saying thanx and it was ice meeting them. the other two called the next morning. TRUST me... now thats how it should be... you call em first/.. show me you are worth my time ...and we would go from there!!! now I have 5 stocks.... its the getting to know you process... Im keeping it strictl friends...establishing a friendship is very important before anything else.

Just remember there is nothing wrong with filling your portfolio...it doesnt make you a slut..neither does it make you a player... they are not your boyfriends, or boy toys... you are just simply multitasking.... If anything, you are simply .. making friends, having fun, and looking for mr.. right the healthiest way... without being stressed!!! Youre single so getting to know 5 guys at a time is not a problem.. Just make sure you are comfortable and enjoying yourslef at the same time...

Hope i was at ure service!! Try it out.. and lets hear the results or even what you think....

so ma blogstarrrrzz..go out!!! you are single ready to mingle!!!

Full of love...

~GREAT GREEN~

THE new green = THE GREAT GREENNNN!!

hEY BLOGGGGSTTARRZ!!!

This is GREAT GREEN at your service...

So over the few weeks, nothing fun when it came to boys really happened to me....i was basically stuck in school doing ma thing.. u feel me..its my final year... so it aint no joke on the east side...!!!

Anyway I decided to change my swag on my blog!!!
Im coming up with a new style.. YAY!!

so instead of writing all wat I go through on a daily..and how love sucks and boys stink...(LOL)..
I would write things i feel u, my fellow blogstarz, would learn from...and could incorporate in your lifez... I would still give updates of my life but mainly as examples!!..hope u enjoy and love the new GREAT GREEEEEENNNN

love always,

green

:-)

hey bloggie!!! Ive had the longest week ever! Im so happy a brandnew one is about to start! I cant wait to see what its about to offer!! So yea Ive been feeling really good! I told you I have like a new found crush/boo! So yea its real weird and real different! I guess because I havnt been in a relationship in such a long time..ohmigosh! I dont even know how to act or anything! its crazy! or i wonder if it is because I just havnt had that "i like him, he likes me" experience in the loooongest time! like wow is such an amazing feeling when the dude you ACTUALLY like is trying to pursue you...* i feel amazing*. So we have been seeing each other frequently during the week and its cool, we talk occasionally and text all the time!! and yesterday we went to see a movie, and nothing happened and im so happy he didnt try anything silly! even though he wanted to rub on my arm, hold my hand during the movie and at first i felt weird and then I gave in for abit!! lolll! and he definately peeped that, it was real funny...but I loved it! I felt so good and we had good conversation even though Im still holding back because we are still sooo fresh in the game! I dont want to rush anything and I also dont wana take anything to sloowww because I dont know he pace to take..I have two weeks of scholl left *tear* and we are going to be an hour away for the whole summer :-( idk what to expect!!! but yea Im just going with the flow!!!

Anyways later that night, he invited me to his house because they were having a little party ans I gladly came through with my two girls(which he is quite familar with)...my girls are the craziest, they r really aggressive with him that he wonders what would happen if they hate him....lol!! but yea it was cool we drank(me and my girls) and we came through the house...and mind you he told me before he dropped me off after the movies that when i see him I better not act unfamilar..lol! so yea when we finally made it through the house I saw him and my friends hugged him and said whats up and I said "hi and waved" and best believe he was like "oh-kay im acting unfamiliar" but gosh it was alot of people in the house i dont wana be too groupie-ish but idk! i was just shy! seeing him everytime feels like im seeing him for the very first time..lol but yea after awhile i went upstairs and sat in the living room because i was tired, whenever i drink i just want to sleep! so yea my friends made him come sit next to me and yea thats where it kicked off..we both talked and flirted all thru the night!!! I gave him a kiss on the cheek..*blush*...and omg! do you know what i like he knows i have like standards...so he wanted me to see his room and he knew I would feel weird if he came with me so he told me "to go see his room and he would sit on the couch"..lol! twas too cute..lol! but yea we flirted and flirted all the way through the night!! he is real cool but omg!! im such a picky person :-( i dont like the way he dresses!! soooo american and ahhh i dislike much :-( but hmm maybe he is going through alot so i wont knock him for that!! we can transition on that,,...lol!! anyways after the end of the night he wanted me to kiss him on the lips :-( ahhhh i really dont wanna come off in anyway until he makes it official official official so i gave him a quick kiss on the lips no tongue!! it was just like the one i gave him on his cheeks..lmao! im so young at heart but what can I do!! he was shoked though!!, and he didnt want me to leave but i had too...and the funny thing is that there is this other guy kinda admires me and he was at the party so whenever my eyecandy left I was talking to him and i guess it seemed asif we were flirting! idk what my eyecandy thot of that! but hey i was just talking to him nothing serious, even though there was some feelings in our convo( me and the other dude) but yea yea yea had a great night!! got back to the room and my boo called me to say good night! and it was a wrap! I was super tired today and now he wants me to come over his house and kick it in the living room..lol! he knows i dont like the whole "bedrom" idea..but hmm we would see...he thinks im soo much of a good girl..ok i am! but im just taking it slow, if i were his girl i would give him 75% of myself and the other rest is too my husband..lol! 100%..lol!! by guys! love ya!mwah

On Cloud 9

OoooooooooooooOOOOwiiiiii!! You would not believe my weekend guys!! it was sooo greattt!! I want to share it with the world! ALright I had the best weekend ever with my hommies in school!! and yesterday just topped off the weekend! like ohmidaiz! so yea i drank yesterday and i was soo tipsy it was crazy! but my friends were drunk so I kinda had to babysit! It was still cool! so yea I told you about my crush right? yea his name is "eyecandy" so yea eyecandy had a tragedy in his family and he was feeling bad so he didnt really go out until yesterday and I saw him at the party! woohoo! I spotted him strolling because he is a frat boy but I dindt say anything! until his frat brother literally pushed him towards me, ohmigosh it was so embarassing! like I had to walk away..then he finally walked right back into me and he was like blahblahblah and then he asked me for my number, so i definately gave it to him lol! so yea then we parted! he came up and checked on me occasionally because I was drunk but I didnt let him know..i composed myself real good, I was happy for myself....so i was busy babysitting my girlies and through out the night! getting some hollas and comments but i didnt care too much for them! I was just thinking of eyecandy! idk if he was thinking about me the same way though! So yea, after the party me and my drunkies were going to walk home and then I heard someone call out my name and low and behold it was eyecandy and his frat boys, he asked mne if i wanted a ride and i said sure but its me and my girlies and yea yea yea he dropped us at home!! i thought that was totally sweet! like wow!! so yea he later called me at night!! ohmigosh guys I was totally star struck! like im so shy around him and i havnt been in a relationship or liked someone in such awhile that I dont even know how to act! it really sucks :-( but yea we talked until I fell asleep on him...

So today he called me and UUUUUwwwwwwwwiiiii!! we got to know each other better,we played Q&A over the phone..lol!! it was real cute! i didnt want to drop, but I had to work! wow! everythings moving so fast Imn so scared!! Im soo scared of sooo many things...first of all i hope he likes me for me, like i hope his frat bro isnt making him like me because im his frats friend you know, and i asked my girl and she was like "no theres an attraction between us and everyone can see iit" omg! im so scared!. Im also scared of the fact that I havnt been a relationship for awhile I wonder if I would know how to act!* I dont want to chase him away! and yea Im a virgin! im so scared that he might not want to be with me because of that! ohmi! he is such a darling though! like I reallly like him its crazy! i even had a dream about him last night! spooky! and whats so cool about it is that he is so down to earth he knows all about my culture cuz he hangs with people from where i am from! wow!! i dont know tho, we would see we are just getting to know each other and my girlies love him! woohoo!!! I am so on cloud 9 right now!! and wow!! Ive never dated or even spoken to and african american before, wow!!!Ive only listened to them never got interested! i wonder what my mom would do...the funny thing is that he asked me what my mom and dad do if i introduced him to them!! i really dont know!!! well woohoo! thats that for now! would keep you sooo updated!