Getting to know the *GREEN*

Its 2009 and wat can I say, Im *SINGLE*. its been 2 long years of my status being that. Dont get me wrong a few have come and gone (shiiii** in an attractive young lady) but none has been quite the person Im looking for :(..yea I know its tough out there.

I enjoy being single, love the dates, love the flirting, love the variety, LOVE THE BOYZZZ!! but after a while I started to be needy, needy for that one person to do all this fun activities I have built in my head, needy for that one person to call all the time and share special memorable moments. Now that's when my search started.

I have acquainted myself with all types..u name it. Tried it all, just to see *THE END*. so here I had this one guy "the homeboy" really like him...more than any other, hurt me multiple times, I got so mad, got even, try to put it all in the past. my friends say I loved him cos I always went back to him after everything and had this soft spot for him. I say NO way!! I say that better not be the definition of LOVE or else I QUIT!!.. but anyway I try to avoid him as much as possible. Now I know how rkelly felt when he sang the song..."MY MIND IS TELLING ME NOOOOO but ma BODDDYYYY is telling me YEA YEA YEAAAA" smh... I still dont understand why I did that..
then I have my "muscle mania", hmm hmm hmm....I tell you my fellow Americans it was love at first sight on a website. I saw, I wanted, I met him...he wanted...we got it on and popping(talking that is). I thot he was going to be special, but little did I know he was still stuck on his ex. now we dont talk anymore (of cos) but word has it he is bk with ex. (thank God I saw it coming) We talk once in a blue but im saying its better than not atall. Then I met this OHH so cute, talented "BS" I liked him a lot. I stopped talking to all this other side guys because he definitely had me hooked. we grew on each other, i met his family, cared about his family, cared much for him. we were such good friends.I talked to him for almost a year and I tell you not once did I ever look another mans way. Then I started to notice he had issues. he was scared of commitment. IM SCARED of commitment (thats why I prefer to talk to all this guyz..no dating..I hate limitations cant even have guy friends cos he would get jealous) .I cant deal with that! so, one day he decides to cut me off for the dumbest reason ever.(can you imagine..I was pained, I really cared for him) but i took it upon my self to fight for what was right, but then he wanted just friendship. Little did I know, when I was gone for a month on vacation, he realised that he really missed me and wanted me back..but it was too late, I met another man. "VACA BOO" . When i came back and he started telling me how much he missed me I decided to tell him the truth. some say stupid, i say ohh well it is his bad. I tell you ladies they dont know what they have till its gone. So he decided to cut me off for good now. I was very upset cos at least i wanted friendship. But you snooze you loose. Didnt get friendship, i think i got an enemy(not sure yet). We no longer are friends and we dont talk. (its only been a moth) sucks cos i really liked our friendship. He had the nerves to say my request for friendship was me trying to have my cake and eat it too. Such a Guy!!well thats the end of that chapter. I think all guys issues I am yet to discover..when I do I would let you know. this is my first far far away person im actually trying out. see where it goes..(hoping for the best) but we shall see. Guys always find a way to messup

.. stay tuned.