There's Gotta Be Somebody!

Oh yea its been awhile, unfortunately I'm still in school so schools been keeping me away from the pc. But yea alot has been goin on and I have so much thoughts going through my head. First of all i wonder why when you like someone and are ready to give your all for him, he isnt ready and he treats you like shit! Then you leave him alone and forget all about you, THEN he comes back and really wants you....really wants you bad, but now your not even interested in him anymore...ODD isnt it? well I had that experience and I really don't know what to do and say, because i really like this Mr. Attractive and he didnt really show like he was interested in me at all, it took me awhile to let go of him though! I went hard for him because I was sooo attracted to him but he wasnt feeling me in any way(thats what i think) but i feel like he entertained me though(like he liked all the attention i was giving him), but as i was saying after awhile I let him go..I am definately no fool!!! But now he thinks it can be the same way it was before, like he wants to be all in my face, all down my throat and all touchy, but Im just not feeling it...awww sucks doesnt it!!! Guys really need to get it toghether, like I definately do not know what was stopping him from gettin with me when he had the chance but now I am on a different perspective I really wish he would get that? But hmm Im sure it would come along with time.... we can still be friends.

Oh wow! Its kind of weird any little thing that happens I feel like Im getting closer and closer to something "REAL"..lol!! Im so corny but yea Ive recently been talking to this guy that use to crush on me in high school, but back then I really didnt care much for him, and now I look at him and I dont know why i didnt like him, because we get along so much and I feel like I can learn from him and yea he is cool, but who knows? I beleieve in fate so much so if its mesant to be Im sure it'll be..and yea theres another guy that i actually use to crush on in high school and he crushed on me for abit, he is also someone that when I converse with I feel like something can happen! but long distance is a killer? but hey we are getting close to graduation so maybe these things can work out! Ive resulted to prayer because i do get loney and tired of talking to my girlfriends sometimes because they are not Gay(thank God) but they just cant give me that comfort I need and i cant yell at them for not calling me to check up on me, you know things like that is only for someone you fancy much *tear*, but Im being hopeful! and another thing is when my friends get a man, they would be too tied up in talking to they man and less time for me *sad face*..but yea Im optimistic :-)

OK! so yea, maybe Im in a relationship and i do not know it! *creepy* there is this other guy that is madly crushing on me right now and its real sad because the feelings are not mutual, I would love to be his friend though!but i do not know how he is going to take it, because honest to God i do give him hints and signals that i amnot interested in being his girlfriend but he always thinks i dont mean what i say and he believes that i like him the same way, Oh my one day he slipped and used tthe word 'love" I was a bit confused, and I addressed the matter as nicely as I possibly could. I'm known to be a heartbreaker and i really do not want to break his heart, because i think my heart has been broken quite a number of times but I would not wish on that type of feeling for anyone! so i am going to try and tell him where my heart is...(nowhere) but i think i just have to let him know that nothing would happen between us.....

Hmmmm...more to come....

LONG DISTANCE.... to be or not to be?!!

So I decided to keep the communication going with vaca boo. At first I thought...who in their right mind talks to someone so far... All the way in a different continent.

I dont know about a lot of people but one thing im not smart with all those miles and km measuring how far>? >>what I do is price the distance of the relationship (last minute prices). I believe you never know how bad you want to see somene until the weekend comes and you miss them and then you just buy that last minute ticket the night before you leave. I have talked to a boy in Atlanta, I called it a $300 dollar realtionship. I called that long till I started talking to vaca boo.

So vaca boo, he is $2000 away from me. so we definately dont have that last minute syndrome kickin in. I aint diddys daughter or the presidents daughter, Im an average working class college lady living in america. And you know that saying college kids are always broke...YOU DAMN RITE!!! after spending $40 every weekend on clubbing, its understandable.

Anyway, we talk almost everyday and I actually think im liking this longdistance thing even more. There are so many positive in long distance, You get to know each other more mentally and not pysically. We talk about everything. I started trusting him because now I even talk without thinking or watching what I say. I love it when I could do that with someone. thats TRUST in my book.

Long distance is Hard because you miss out on all those little important things like Valentines day. It saddens me to think I have to spend it all by myself even though in another country I could have been struck with the cupid arrow...(all inlove). And also you dont feel like you get enough attention. We ladies LOVVVVEEE attention. we all believe "if my man dont give me the attention I need, I might just have to find it somewhere else" believe it or not its true.

Im not in a long distance relationship (YET i guess) but a lot of things scare me about it. If I end up in one, I definately dont wanna get tired or sick of it. I talked to a few people in long distance and they love it. They say they have never cheated (that they know of)and that its all about mutual behavior meaning they both call, they both visit each other, etc. I thot it was cute and in 2009 having a 50 50 relationship is not that bad especially since all we want to sing and chant these days are words like I'M MS. INDEPENDENT.

anyway rapping this up, I really like brandys new song. LONG DIstance is hard but one day you would eventually be together forever.

TIME FOR BED..Muah
xxGREENxx

WHY?

Oh my gosh! Why did I already write a post and it got erased? :-( anyways basically I was wondering WHY?...Why? Why? Why? Why would someone that you thought cared for you so much and told you he loved you, try as much as possible to distant himself from you? Like why would he not call you anymore? why would he go days and weeks with not even trying to see how you are? didnt he say he loved you? and isnt love unconditional? like a "no matter what" kind of feeling? Why do boys lie? because him saying that he loveS not even lovED me doesnt really care like he did before! We barely talk, we text though...do you text someone you love? i am so confused, infact I'm not i just feel so "lied to" and trust me thats the worst feeling, I cry sometimes though! I really wish things didnt have to happen to me like this? I flew all the way to see him and it just felt so different! Why ask me to come see you and then you dont even cherish my appearance? or isit that Im setting my standards high? and I'm expecting to much? WHy? WHy? why? i reallt want to understand , but i guess somethings are just better left unsaid or isit 'unanswered".... Sheesh! I agree with Green, Boys are stupid, stupid in every kind of way!!! they are losers and they suck balls!!! Thank God for good friends or else I would have ran coo-coo!..anyways that was just a tad bit that was on my mind this evening or should I say early morning! Good Night/Good mornin!

Why are some boys soooo juvenile!!?!

Okay, so this guy in Boston inspired me to write this quick post. Imagine I only saw him once in my life at a gathering and spoke to him a couple of times that week and never again... next thing you know this "goof ball" (mind you is in his mid 20z) meets an "old main squeeze" and tells him "yea u know I've 'had' her before"...is he crazyyyyyyyy??!! you know what HE IS CRAZYYY!! like why make that up.. to make ure boys think you are cool, to impress them? u know what that goof ball is GAY NUFF SED!!

I don't understand what goes through these boyz minds (i refuse to say men!!) when they decide to make up stories that hurt an innocent soul. They must have no emotions and careless as long as they build their ego. Now LADIES, these are the guys we run from...FARR FARR away from them!!!!

anyway gotta go eat lunch but let me leave u a little something to think about and tell me how you feel " If a "boy" (still refusing to say man) said that about you. like my situation.. what would you do or how would you handle it??..

**Peace and LOveeeee**
~GREEN~

Ms. Purple

Helllooooooo! Omigosh this is one of my/our first blogs!!! But yea, where do I start? My quest for "something real" is abit different then Greens. I've been single for about 2 and a half years :-( really sucks but yea... Im a real different breed though, Ive actually only had 3 boyfriends in my 21 years on earth. My first boyfrend was Mr.Hazel Eyes, I really liked him but I was real young then, so i probably didnt know anything, we broke up because he relocated and plus I found a new lover...dont get me wrong thoogh Hazel Eyes is still very much active in my life, as a matter of fact I saw him recently after sooooo long and i could feel "something", I dont know what it was but I felt something! He is really cool and someone I can see myself with in the nearest future.

Moving right along, after Hazel Eyes there was no wait period I ran into another lover...he was a different kind of breed he goes by Mr. International. The way we met was kind of different, but we made it happen. We were really into each other, I adored him, I was still young but I just loved the way he made me feel, we were both in and out of each others houses, we always hung out and just spoke till we could speak no more..I really trusted him and just never kept anything from him, but yea yea yea we were together for 3years and then he just ended up breaking my heart *tear drop* It took me the longest to get over him, I think it took me 3 years to get over him. But now I'm good!!! Then the last but not least of my very own possesions is Mr. Smooth. *giggles* no one really knows how we met except for the both of us, but it was real cute i call it *cyber love*. We started off as friends tho, which is the best way to start of any relationship, anyways yea he was there for me while i was getting over Mr.International(kindof weird) but yea it worked, then we kicked it off..it took me awhile to get into him but I finally did..I basically lived Mr.Smooth until we couldnt continue the relationship due some "circumstances beyond us"-thats what I call it. But he never cheated on me and he never did anything to hurt me, and we still talk, we tried to make things work out between us, but it was kindof impossible, so now we are just slowing falling out * tears* I hate it soo much but we just cant be together :-(.

But yea that was a quick review of the past, but yea apart from my official men, I have alot of guys that come up to me and just try and become apart of my life, but after having my heart mistreated twice. I want the third time to be a CHARM*. Well let me brush you up on the guys so when you see them lateron in the blog you can have an idea. I have Mr.Big-Timer, he is a great dude, very nice and caring and someone I wouldnt mind being with him at all because he would be there for me when i need him, but theres a big problem....I am not attracted to him in no way possible, it really sucks but its true and I do not date guys I am not attracted to because It wont work :-( but he is my friend though, but he is in love with me and it kindof scares me. Then we have Mr.School boy, he is also another great person, he is soo nice and soo caring, and he would literally do anything for me, but the problem with him is that I am not attracted to him either, I actually tried and went a little bit forward with him but it didnt last, I couldnt force myself any longer. He tries to stop talking to me though because he feels that i am leading him on (and that is not thee case) but what can I say?. There is also Mr.Cool, I just met him recently but he doesnt live around me, infact he lives in another country :-( sucks, he is not everything i want but he posses some qualities but what catches my eye aboout him is that he is so straight forward, he wants to be with me and he wants everyone to know( I love that) but he is famously known for trying to date alot of girls which is a problem in my book :-( but we still talk, and i love it! I recently met Mr. English as well, he is everything I want, but he has a girlfriend and that sucks, but he flirts with me and thats not a good look!!! ok 2 more..lol!! i have Mr. Comes and Goes, he is real different I use to have this crazy crush on him but then he shut me down by not talking to me for the logest time ever, it was real sad but then he came back and now I dont know if I should let my heart lose, he says he would never hurt me like that again but I dont know? he comes and goes whenever he pleases though! but what i like about him is that he is always there!!! :-). This last fellow is my Mr. Prince Charming!! I use to like him awhile back, but then I got over him...Im sorry we use to like each other awhile back and it was really cute because he was shy and i was "shyer" if thats a word. But then the likeness died and now we are just friends, but we are friends with a "bond" we still care about each other, but never act on our feelings..hmmm! Out of the many guys if Mr. Prince Charming came up to me. i would date him on the spot...giggles* ridiulous but true.

Anyways thats my little introduction, abit of everything, but yea I am hoping for that fairytale love story to hit me, Im so sad and Im so scared of being lonely and having to end up settling for less, which I dont want to happen so Im in this quest, ok not a quest but Im praying for that special person to call when i am down and that special person to be able to kiss through the phone etc. Yea so this blog is going to be a motivator and diary for me to keep record of my feelings.....stay tuned!

Getting to know the *GREEN*

Its 2009 and wat can I say, Im *SINGLE*. its been 2 long years of my status being that. Dont get me wrong a few have come and gone (shiiii** in an attractive young lady) but none has been quite the person Im looking for :(..yea I know its tough out there.

I enjoy being single, love the dates, love the flirting, love the variety, LOVE THE BOYZZZ!! but after a while I started to be needy, needy for that one person to do all this fun activities I have built in my head, needy for that one person to call all the time and share special memorable moments. Now that's when my search started.

I have acquainted myself with all types..u name it. Tried it all, just to see *THE END*. so here I had this one guy "the homeboy" really like him...more than any other, hurt me multiple times, I got so mad, got even, try to put it all in the past. my friends say I loved him cos I always went back to him after everything and had this soft spot for him. I say NO way!! I say that better not be the definition of LOVE or else I QUIT!!.. but anyway I try to avoid him as much as possible. Now I know how rkelly felt when he sang the song..."MY MIND IS TELLING ME NOOOOO but ma BODDDYYYY is telling me YEA YEA YEAAAA" smh... I still dont understand why I did that..
then I have my "muscle mania", hmm hmm hmm....I tell you my fellow Americans it was love at first sight on a website. I saw, I wanted, I met him...he wanted...we got it on and popping(talking that is). I thot he was going to be special, but little did I know he was still stuck on his ex. now we dont talk anymore (of cos) but word has it he is bk with ex. (thank God I saw it coming) We talk once in a blue but im saying its better than not atall. Then I met this OHH so cute, talented "BS" I liked him a lot. I stopped talking to all this other side guys because he definitely had me hooked. we grew on each other, i met his family, cared about his family, cared much for him. we were such good friends.I talked to him for almost a year and I tell you not once did I ever look another mans way. Then I started to notice he had issues. he was scared of commitment. IM SCARED of commitment (thats why I prefer to talk to all this guyz..no dating..I hate limitations cant even have guy friends cos he would get jealous) .I cant deal with that! so, one day he decides to cut me off for the dumbest reason ever.(can you imagine..I was pained, I really cared for him) but i took it upon my self to fight for what was right, but then he wanted just friendship. Little did I know, when I was gone for a month on vacation, he realised that he really missed me and wanted me back..but it was too late, I met another man. "VACA BOO" . When i came back and he started telling me how much he missed me I decided to tell him the truth. some say stupid, i say ohh well it is his bad. I tell you ladies they dont know what they have till its gone. So he decided to cut me off for good now. I was very upset cos at least i wanted friendship. But you snooze you loose. Didnt get friendship, i think i got an enemy(not sure yet). We no longer are friends and we dont talk. (its only been a moth) sucks cos i really liked our friendship. He had the nerves to say my request for friendship was me trying to have my cake and eat it too. Such a Guy!!well thats the end of that chapter. I think all guys issues I am yet to discover..when I do I would let you know. this is my first far far away person im actually trying out. see where it goes..(hoping for the best) but we shall see. Guys always find a way to messup

.. stay tuned.